Press play on your great marriageDear Kathy

Let me tell you a story!

Once upon a time- there was a manboy who fell madly in LIKE with a sweet girlwoman.  When they were apart, their thoughts were always on the other. They spent every moment possible with each other- just being together was thrilling: studying or not studying, talking or not talking, sharing dreams and hopes- and fears & failures, touching fingers, holding hands, gently dancing, passionately embracing...!  Soon they knew -this was much more than LIKE- they LOVED each other.  They wanted to be together always.  

One day, Manboy dropped to his knee and asked sweet Girlwoman to marry him. She said Yes!

They said their VOWS.  

It didn't seem a bit hard!  It was like they PRESSED the PLAY button on their wonderful love story. 

At first it seemed like they would live happily ever after. But then there was that argument that sent them stomping both to different rooms.  Silence pervaded. Distance widened.  

But they made up! and made love! It was great!  As if they pushed rewind on the movie and were back to the original love story. 

Then it happened again- lasted longer!  When Manboy tried to say he was sorry- Girlwoman pulled away.  Manboy fumed off. Distance widened. 

Then Girlwoman remembered those vows- she spoke carefully of it to Manboy.  He grabbed her up in his arms. She's cautious but responsive. There was no rewind now- this was different than before.

But then it happened again-and again.  Different topics-or maybe the same but the reactions more intense- added to layers of anger, fear, insecurity, disappointment, defeat. Distance widened.  The movie started  to have new themes and new tensions and snippets of other people's lives intersecting and interfering. 

This time Manboy doesn't try to touch Girlwoman- who can stand the rejection again?

This time Girlwoman doesn't want to remember the vows- if only he were more like So & So!

Manboy sits down at his computer- so angry!  Whoa!! That's a beautiful picture of one pretty lady!  I bet she doesn't treat her man like Girlwoman treats me.

Girlwoman sits down to read!  Ah! I wish Manboy was more like the hero of this story.  He knows just what to say and do to romance his woman. 

The images they carry made them long for closeness - they reached out to the each other.  

They made up- had sex- but there was something different. Images flashed through their minds but not of each other.  They layed back and felt almost ashamed.

But neither spoke of it. They couldn't erase what was playing now. .

Then they didn't need to have to fight to go search for images or read of fictional romance. Afterall,"My spouse doesn't know"- it's not hurting anyone.  

They begin to go through the motions with one another- but feel more discontent! 

Their story takes a turn.  They are not satisfied by the romance novels or pornographic images- or even each other. They start searching elsewhere for more satisfaction-spend more time apart-less time thinking about each other. More time thinking about 'what could be'!... with imaginary people.  or maybe with real people.

On and on it goes! The consequences continue to play out and affect their marriage, their family, their reputations, their testimonies...

Until one day- they push pause and stare blankly at the screen of their marriage.  

They realize - 

What they longed for- they had!  

They longed for real intimacy- not a counterfeit!

Their relationship had been the real deal!  Not just a movie line.

It was hard.

It was challenging.

It was stretching.

But it had been good- even great!  Even with the fights, especially with the differences. 

They replay the early years:

Manboy had really known and loved Girlwoman.

Girlwoman really loved and respected Manboy.

Now they sit pondering- in two different rooms- or perhaps in two different houses.

How did this happen?  Can we get that back again? 

the distance...well, it's up to you what happens next!

Sound familiar!  Heard that story before?  Are you living that story? I don't think there is a couple alive who hasn't experienced some aspect of that story- Ren and I included.  

You  choose whether you are the hero of your story- or the drifter who thinks it will just happen, or who thinks the 'shortcuts' to pleasure won't affect your marriage.  Only to find yourself lonely in that marriage or at the brink of divorce. Marriage is work- hard work!  Intimacy within that relationship- real, authentic intimacy is doesn't just happen! You can't just PRESS PLAY! You must be intentional.  You must love on purpose.

We sometimes need a guide!  As one who has 'been there and done that', I know the value of having someone to walk with who understands.  When we PRESS PLAY on our relationship- it helps to have someone pointing us back toward one another. Over and over again!

That is why over the next few months, GHC and friends will be offering opportunities for you to learn and be challenged whether you are married or not.  Keep an eye on www.greenhopecoaching.com for groups or teaching for women - AND men! Or couples!  LIVE and ONline!

But today I invite all the GHC women and their friends to attend a conference that will stir you to the core of your longing! The NAKED TRUTH Conference will be held October 3 & 4.  I have spoken of Linda Dillow often in the 35 years of our marriage.  God has used her in mighty ways in my life.  I'm delighted that Linda and Dr Juli Slattery of Authentic Intimacy will be in Lima to share with us from Scripture God's opinion on intimacy. 

I challenge you to put it on your calendar now-even if you must come from a distance-

After August 1st- make your reservations early, and get an extra ticket for a friend. 

Even if you can't participate - you can pray!  

This is an opportunity to be GUIDED- by women who have been there and are there still!  

But remember, Your GREAT Marriage starts with YOU!  

PRESS PLAY!

Kathy Burrus
Green Hope Coaching
www.greenhopecoaching.com
 


Naked Truth conference

For Women
of all ages and stages of life.

Single, Married, Single Again

The college kid
The mature high school girl
The 20 something
The newly married
The mother of preschoolers
The career woman
The busy mom who feels like a taxi driver
The ministry woman
The empty nester
The grandmother
This message is for all of us!

THE NAKED TRUTH Conference
Reclaiming God's design for intimacy

Speakers Linda Dillow and Dr Juli Slattery
of Authentic Intimacy dare to converse with us using God's Word
as we explore God's opinion

  • about YOU and your identity,
  • about SEX, and intimacy in marriage
  • about God, and his desire for intimacy with You.

Friday, October 3 at 6:30
Saturday, October 4, 9:00am- 1:00pm

Shawnee Alliance Church, Lima, Ohio

Cost: beginning August 1- September 1- Early bird $25, students $20.
     After September 1: Regular price $35, students $30. 

To register and get more information, after August 1, go to www.authenticintimacy.com/Lima. 
Or you can go to The NAKED TRUTH event- Lima, Ohio Facebook page.

Click here to view a digital copy of the brochure.

  • Questions?
  • Want printed brochures or promo pack for your church or organization
    call or text Kathy at 419-306-8311 or email kathy@greenhopecoaching.com

Be intentional in your marriage relationship!

Dare to share this opportunity with your girlfriends!

We are all created by God as sexual beings, who crave intimacy- to be known & loved!  
Married or single- this is a message for all of us. 


  • kathy@greenhopecoaching.com  
  • 419-306-8311
  • www.greenhopecoaching.com

Intentionally Designing Hope
for life, love & loss.


Kathy Burrus
Green Hope Coaching with Kathy Burrus